Jasper and Sara

Horsehockey V - Episode 50

Jasper suddenly awoke. He was on the side of a highway, apparently in the middle of nowhere. He stood up. Something wasn't right... He looked down, and instead of hips and legs, he saw his torso resting on a mound of slimy, writhing green tentacles. Ack, he thought. Then he closed his eyes, shook his head, and looked again. Now his legs were normal, human legs, just as...

"Ack!!" exclaimed Jasper. For, as well as he could remember, when he had gone to sleep, he was a regular old border collie. He checked himself over as best he could with his (he hated to think it) hands. Yep, he was now human somehow. He was wearing some human clothes, things he had seen his master, Sara, wear, but for which he had no names. Suddenly the words "t-shirt," "jeans" and "tennis shoes" popped into his mind. Interesting, he thought as he cocked his head to one side.

Presently he heard a moaning in the ditch next to him. He sniffed, but all he could smell was grass and the faint, acrid tinge of burnt hydrocarbons. "Stupid human nose," he said out loud, much to his surprise. He walked over to the ditch and saw a young woman lying in the grass. He stepped closer.

It was Sara! What was going on? She hadn't been turned into a dog! Jasper quickly went to her, and after a moment he figured out how to squat down beside her. He fought the urge to lick her face, or smell her crotch. He placed a hand on her shoulder, and her eyes opened a bit.

"Who... who are you?" she said, coming to slowly. "You look familiar. Where are we?"

"It's me," said Jasper. "Jasper."

Sara sat up. "Jasper who?"

Jasper had never been asked this question before. "Uh, Jasper you!" he said. "I'm your dog, Jasper! I woke up over there, like this," and he spread his arms and circled for her once. "I don't even have my tail any more!"

"Is this some kind of joke? Because if it is, it's not very funny. And where are we?"

"I don't know where we are. I can't smell like I used to."

"If you're Jasper, prove it to me. Where do I hide my diary?"

"In the floor of the old barn, 6 boards in, 3 boards over. And before that, it was in the corn crib until the rats started chewing on it."

"This is too weird. I must be dreaming or something." Sara stood up and looked around. "Hmm, I don't recognize this place. There's the North Star. This road leads east and west. Which way should we go?"

  1. The pair heads east.
  2. The pair heads west.
  3. Jasper loses control and buries his head in Sara's crotch.
  4. Before they can decide, a bus full of Mexican midget porn stars pulls up.
  5. Suddenly, a guy who looks like he's walked around the world a couple times stumbles by.
  6. "Wait," says Jasper, "this is wrong. We are cousins, I was never a dog. Is this Horsehockey?! Shit!!"
  7. Josh and Scott ride up in a pickup truck. They hop out. "Sup," says Scott, winking at Sara.

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6/3/2019 10:22:11 PM

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