Take That, Universal Music

Thousands of master tapes from a large music conglomerate that had merged with, or swallowed up smaller record labels over the past fifty years, all in pristine condition, neatly organized and shelved, and ready to be used for reissues and upgrades should there ever be another massive demand for physical media.

Dear UMG, this is how you do it. No fires, no not telling anyone their masters were lost for over a decade, and no cashing in on insurance policies while not reimbursing the singers and bands whose entire recorded history went up in flames.

1. So there.
2. So anyway...
3. So yesterday...
4. Josh Burbank enters the vault with a flamethrower.
5. Elsewhere, the old Horsehockey archives are reported lost. It wasn't a fire, just a sad coincidence.

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