evil hunger

Scott suddenly looks behind himself, at a spot on the wall. "Oh, for fucks sake," he says. "It's episode 666. So this is definitely some evil ass fish and chips. So, if you think I am eating it or even touching, you must have lost your mind. In fact, it is not safe for me to do anything so I am just going to sit here on the stairs until the episode passes."

Feeling proud of himself, Scott sits down on the stairs and pulls out his phone. A Multiversal Standard ePhone 6002a, it pretty much has all the bells and whistles. "The fact that I have this tells me that the wide variance of the tower is back. I am once again tower aware, and hell I even knew the episode number. I am pretty much Deadpool at this point." He chuckles at his own wit.

Suddenly, the air a few steps down the staircase shimmers and a man wearing a pristine white robe steps out. He is a handsome man with blonde hair and what could be described as a symmetrically perfect face. "Hello, Scott," he says, his voice smooth as honey. "I have to confess that you are kinda ruining this momentous occasion. I only have one episode 666 and you are making it boring as hell."

Scott barely glances at the man, then turns his attention back to playing Angry Birds 19. "Oh hey Lucifer," he says. "honestly I don't give a shit. I know you are a Power but you can head on back to your Floor or whatever. I am not your plaything, not today anyway, and I don't care about your episode 666. That has been played out for a couple decades at least now, hasn't it? Fuck off."

1. Lucifer lets Scott have it, unleashing a verbal thrashing.
2. Lucifer lets Scott have it, unleashing literal hell right there on the staircase.
3. Lucifer asks Scott if he is going to eat that fish platter, because it smells delicious.
4. Reaibn is admonished severely for not doing more with episode 666.
5. Lucifer shrugs and sits by Scott on the staircase. Nothing happens.
6. Suddenly, the stairs turn into a giant slide. Lucifer and Scott go flying down it!
7. Lucifer tells Scott that he raises very good points, but that it isn't very sporting of him. Are his feelings hurt?
8. Scott absently picks up a piece of fish and eats it. Nothing happens.
9. Scott absently picks up a piece of fish and eats it. Something happens!
10. Lucifer fucks off. Scott is alone on the staircase again.
11. Deadpool shows up and breaks the fourth wall a half dozen times.

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