Dan Fogelbert

Horsehockey V - Episode 588

Dan Fogelbert steps up to the podium.

"Scott. What can I say? I tried to do my job at the music store, I really did. But Scott kept on living. Or something. I just wanted my paycheck and...gimme a sandwhich! Anyway, I just wanted my paycheck and one day Josh shoved it up his buttcrack! Like a credit card! And he got a papercut so he bled all over it. I lost three hundred dollars that day and my girlfriend dumped me because I couldn't take her to Les Fledermaus."

"Damn, beyotch!" shouts some gangster cliche nobody ever head of from the third row. "If yo girl is so shallow, you better off without her!"

  1. Dan agrees.
  2. Dan wildly fires several cement-packed mailboxes into the air.
  3. Several Veliciraptors appear to give a euology in the only way they know how; interpretative dance.
  4. "I'm not dead!" screams Scott.
  5. As expected, the gangster cliche nobody ever heard of steps up to give a speech.
  6. Ricardo Montalban starts punching the living bejeebers out of everyone.
  7. Some other obscure character gives an eulogy.
  8. Grand Moff Grand Moff uses stun fire to make his way to the podium. "I'll always remember the way Scott enjoyed my anti-gravity..." he begins and goes on for some time.
  9. Dan goes back to his music store job; the story follows him. Much normalcy happens.

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Lord Reaibn Daenorth (credit to Lots)

6/7/2019 1:59:19 AM

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