Heck on Adderall

Horsehockey V - Episode 1425

Well known Georgia peanut farmer Hector Arthur "Heck" Parking Brake, one of the least intelligent people alive, had secretly arrived on the scene before our heroes showed up at the amusement center that specialized in a 24/7/365 bumper car ride and endless plates of steak fries. While the employee who was assigned to the overhead intercom had stepped out for a moment, Heck wandered inside.

Heck had also eaten a heroic dose of Adderall prior to his visit to the bumper car/steak fries joint, so he's even more incomprehensible than normal. In fact, he sounds remarkably like Donald Trump on his worst days, spewing out hateful and confusing rhetoric and alternate facts in between attempts to count to three.

  1. A full transcript of Heck's remarks can be found here.
  2. Gradually, all of the patrons file out of the building, aside from our heroic octet.
  3. Josh Burbank continues to pout and sulk.
  4. Josh finally starts laughing at Heck's rambling monologue.
  5. There is a seven bumper car pile up in the corner. All cars burst into flames, sending people running everywhere.

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Ben McClellan

1/20/2021 10:39:23 PM

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