My Brother is Gay

Horsehockey V - Episode 647

After a seemingly endless series of meetings with agents and television executives where he perfected his pitch, Scott gets his new show, Black Eye for the Queer Guy, on a well-known national cable network. Prime time, baby!

Scott quickly establishes a production company, and they work hard getting the pilot filmed. It was a much easier task than they had expected. So, here 'tis:

"Hi, hello, and welcome to our new show Black Eye for the Queer Guy. I'm Scott Childers, your host. Today, we've come to Morris, Illinois to meet up with our first guest, a 32 year old self-described horror and science fiction author who also considers himself a filmmaker and a journalist. In reality, he is a deeply closeted troll who lives in his grandparents' basement, spends his days picking fights with people with more successful lives than he does, and he is so lost in a world of fantasy that he's likely never to snap out of it! Oh, did I mention that he hasn't taken a bath since Bill Clinton was in office?"

Scott walks up to a house in a subdivision, and this house is the only one in the neighborhood where the lawn is mostly brown and covered with garbage ranging from plastic bottles to cars that haven't run since 1972. "This is where he lives, and he's just thrilled to be the first guest!"

Knocking on the door, Scott is greeted by the guy himself. "Hi, are you Nicky?"
"Who sent you here?" lisps Nicky.
"I'm Scott Childers from Black Eye for the Queer Guy, and we've picked you, Nicky, to be our first guest!"

Stepping out of the house, the diminutive Nicky with his unwashed clothes and his disgusting, unwashed long black hair begins ranting. "Goddamn it, who the fuck do you think you are?" he spits. "I got stories to write and anthologies to publish! And motherfucker, I am NOT a f-"
POW! Right in the eye.
Turning to the camera, Scott smiles. "We hope you've enjoyed the first episode, and most likely, the last episode of Black Eye for the Queer Guy..."
"Goddamn it, you're finished in Chicago!" whines Nicky as he's lying in the fetal position on the sidewalk, clutching his face, and presumably lying in a puddle of his own waste.
"Whatever, Nicky! See ya next time, when we go to Hollywood and meet Tom Cruise, only on Black Eye for the Queer Guy! Catch you later! By the way, Nicky, it wouldn't hurt to shower more!"

  1. The show never makes it past the first episode.
  2. Oddly enough, the show is a big hit in rural areas.

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Lord Reaibn Daenorth (credit to Ben McClellan)

6/7/2019 2:39:35 AM

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