Sharon and the Aliens

It all started when Sharon got zapped by a trigger-happy Temporal Security Agency (TSA) cop with a dimensional randomiser. (Even though, so far as we know, she isn't black.) Or perhaps it had really started when she found herself trapped in the Staircase Room, some six months earlier. Of course even before that a lot of weird stuff had happened to her, the most permanent being that her breasts had been enlarged. Maybe if she hadn't had that strange compulsion to enter the men's rest room at the Sam's Club none of it would have happened.

Sharon is sent to the seventh moon of Bel'al by the dimensional randomiser. Unfortunately, she cannot breath the nitrogen-rich atmosphere. She gasps for breath to no avail, and soon falls unconscious. With great good fortune, someone spots her and she is rescued in the nick of time. When she comes round, she is lying on a bed in a spaceship sickbay. The being looking down on Sharon is basically humanoid, but with a dog-like face. It is wearing dark brown robes. "Xghah jaje thomegalfrix?" it asks, not unkindly. Sharon screams. Unfortunately this scares the alien and it barks at her, pulling a rather unpleasant walking stick like device out of its robe. Sharon, her brain deciding she is asleep or insane, passes out. The creature, whose name is 'K'lgha', arranges for her to be taken to the brig. It is in the brig that she awakes, cold and thirsty, not an hour later.

Sharon wakes up to find herself lying on a bed or couch. Her clothing has been removed, which is unfortunate, as the ambient temperature is only about 60°F. At least the air seems to have a similar proportion of oxygen to what she is accustomed to, and the gravity is close to 1g. There is a water fountain attached to the wall. She is thirsty enough that, hoping that she isn't poisoning herself, she takes a long drink. Then she tries the door but, as she expects, it is locked.

Shortly afterwards the wall opposite the water fountain slowly goes transparent. On the other side stands another alien (or perhaps the same one, as she can't tell them apart). "What do you want?" she says. "Are you just going to keep me prisoner?" The alien taps urgently on some kind of wrist computer device. "Thank you for speaking, creature," it says - this time in English - with a soothing voice. "We needed some kind of voice-print in order to harmonize our translator." It explains that Sharon had materialised on the seventh moon of Bel'al. "We brought you here to save your life and also to study you, as we have not encountered your race of being before. My name is Head Researcher Zathar." Sharon gives her own name, and asks if they will let her go. "Go where? Do you even know where you are from, Multiversally speaking?" ""No, I'm afraid I don't," she confesses. "Is there any way that you could find out for me?" The alien says that it would be too much trouble. "We have already saved your life. That should surely be enough." ""Err.. but surely you don't intend to keep me here as a test subject?" The alien is offended. "Of course we aren't going to experiment upon you. We just want to run a few tests, you are a new first contact race. Although we cannot be troubled to find where you are from, we will surely book you on the first Multiversal Standard transport that we run across. In the meantime, we will run some tests. Is that agreeable?"

"So what is this all-important mission you are on anyway?" Sharon says instead of answering the question. (Assuming that the aliens must be on one if they can't spare the time to find out where her home-world is located.) "Naturally I can't tell you that. It's highly classified. You aren't spying for the Modonians, are you?" "Of course not. If I was a spy, I'd have hardly been on the surface of a planet with an atmosphere that I couldn't breathe without a spacesuit, would I?" "I suppose not." Sharon then says that she won't consent to tests unless she is first told what they will involve.

"When I asked if our running some tests on you was agreeable, it was really only to be polite," says the creature. "I'm afraid that you don't have any say in the matter." Sharon starts to protest, but then slumps to the floor. Zathar spins around to see another alien wearing more military-style garb. "She was being bothersome," he says. According to his ID tag, he is Colonel Zib, Research & Development, Enforcement Division. Zathar protests, saying that he needs Sharon to be cooperative. "You need her to be compliant," corrects the Colonel, "and that Malagar gas will do that for you. Now, get her and get your tests done. Modonians have been spotted in a nearby sector and we need to wrap things up and head to home space asap."

Sharon awakes to find herself on a stone slab, restrained, with an IV in her both arms. Sharon protests that she had been told that she would only undergo tests and not be experimented on, in which case why the restraints? Has she been lied to? Zathar indignantly denies this. ""It is just that this is a first contact situation and we are not 100% sure of the effect of the drugs we are introducing into your bloodstream. The restraints are for your protection." He explains that one of the drugs she is being injected with is a universal antigerm and the other is a universal adaptation drug. They are to make sure that the tests will not affect her in a negative fashion, and to make it easier for her to survive in Multiversal space. A moment later Sharon gets lightheaded and then passes out, alarming Zathar. He races over to the display showing Sharon's vitals. Not being familiar with the human species, he can only compare it to her earlier readings. "I have no idea what any of this means...." Pushing the intercom button, he summons his assistants to bring her to the testing room. Either she will wake up, or she won't. He bears her no ill will, but he has no way of knowing what was wrong or what he could do about it.

Some time later, Sharon awakes lying on her back in a pitch-black container filled to the top with liquid! She panicks at first, before she realises that somehow she is able to breathe. She recalls that one of the drugs that Zathar gave her was a "universal adaptation drug". Had that made it possible for her to breathe the liquid? Though she doesn't appear to be in any danger, Sharon doesn't want to remain in what amounts to an unlit prison cell a moment longer than necessary, so she tries knocking with her fist on the wall of the container, this being the only way of drawing attention to herself that she can think of. There is no response. The MediStat Ultra tank that she finds herself in is in a room with two other such tanks, and the microphones and video recording devices in the room are not turned on. Instead, Zathar and his assistants are poring over the detailed physiological data being compiled by the tank. A profile is being built of a "Human Female". Zathar is looking forward to all the recognition he will get, not to mention research grants. (The race of being to which Zathar and his compatriots belong, the Hagnar, are class II Multiversally aware. This means that they are aware of the Multiverse but do not have access to areas outside their own universe. They are not allowed access to Multiversal Standard databases, and thus they have not heard of humans.) At that point the computer says: Basic Physiological profile completed. Proceed with level two scans to build expanded profile? Zathar is conflicted, as level two scans could be uncomfortable for Sharon. That being said, he was under a lot of pressure from Colonel Zib to get results. If he didn't seize this opportunity, others would...

Before Zathar can come to a decision, an alarm sounds. Then he hears Colonel Zib's voice: "Red Alert! Red Alert! All personnel to battle stations! This is not a drill. We have detected a Modonian War Juggernaut in the next sector. I repeat: all personnel to battle stations." Zathar has no choice but to leave Sharon in the MediStat Ultra tank until the emergency is over. He cannot even spare the time to tell her what is happening. She should be safe enough physically; he just hopes that prolonged immersion in the tank won't cause her any psychological damage. Reluctantly, he leaves for the sickbay, where he has to be on hand to help treat any personnel who might be injured should it come to a battle. Four hours later, the ship having succeeded in fleeing without being detected by the Modonians, Zathar is able to return to Sharon. Such a close call, though, he thinks. The Modonians are a warlike amphibian race, converting all worlds they conquer into vast oceans teeming with their own people. They are only a Class I Multiversally aware species but they are a terror. It is only the Hagnars' superior technology (this time, speaking specifically of the stealth drive) that keeps their people safe. Wasting no time, Zathar goes into the room with Sharon's tank and initiates the draining and rehabilitation procedure. Hopefully, she will be ok.

When the cube finally opens, an enraged Sharon emerges. Apart from feeling rather heavy, having become used to the support that the thick liquid had given her, and being almost blinded by the sudden light (even though the room's lighting was considerately kept fairly subdued), she is fine. In fact better than fine, as she no longer feels chilly in the 60 degree ambient temperature favoured by the aliens, thanks to the universal adaptation drug which she had been given. "How dare you torture me like that!" she shouts. "Torture? Were you in pain? I assure you that was unintentional." "No, I wasn't actually in pain, but I was terrified. And I was kept in total darkness for what seemed like hours." "Four hours, actually. I am sorry about that. It should only have been fifteen minutes or so, but there was a sudden emergency and I and my assistants had to go to the sickbay." Sharon says that he could at least have warned her in advance about what she would experience. "But we've learnt a tremendous amount about your species..."

Meanwhile Colonel Zib was taking a private call behind locked doors... from the Modonian ship! The conversation that Zib has with the Modonians makes it clear that he is a traitor. The Modonians want someone from Multiversal space, and Sharon fits the bill. They order Zib to find an excuse to take Sharon into his custody, and meet them on Regellum II. It was no coincidence that Zib's ship had picked up Sharon. Knowing what the Modonians wanted, he had manipulated the navigation plans to cause his ship to go by Bel'al precisely when a Multiversal Flux was occurring. Of course, the scanner that enabled him to detect that was against the law for a Class 2 species to have, but who was going to know and who was going to tell? Now, how to get Sharon into his custody...?

Colonel Zib barges in when Sharon is yelling at Head Researcher Zathar for touching her chest. Zathar does not understand why breasts are off-limits when she had been OK with him touching her arm. When she explains that breasts are private, she is not mollified by his saying that he has encountered a few other primitive species with taboos about certain body parts. At that point Zib interrupts them. He asks Zathar if he has completed his tests yet. When Zathar replies that he hasn't done a level two scan yet, Zib says: "I think that we should spare our guest a level two scan. After all, they can be rather uncomfortable. Or at least delay it for a while. We will be going into orbit around Regellum II shortly, and I thought that Sharon might like to come down to the planet's surface with me in the shuttle and be shown the sights." Zathar decides that it would not be a good idea to argue with his commanding officer, and agrees to this. "I'd like that," Sharon says. "I can't go down to a planet's surface stark naked, though. Now that you've finished your tests, perhaps I could have my clothes back?"

1. Zathar has no concept of clothes being worn for reasons of modesty rather than to denote rank, to provide pockets or to keep the wearer warm. So he tells Sharon that she should be fine as she is.
2. Zathar has no concept of clothes being worn for reasons of modesty rather than to denote rank, to provide pockets or to keep the wearer warm. So he tells Sharon that she should be fine as she is. [Version 2 - from HH4.]

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